For years, the US government has tried to get the public to accept dollar coins instead of dollar bills.  First the Eisenhower coins, then the Susan B Anthony, then the Sacagawea, and now the President coins.  Each time the effort has failed ( with the possible exception of this time, though many are doubtful ).  Why do the efforts keep failing?  I can only assume it’s due to this reason right here:

strippers-dollar-bills-g-string

Just take a look at these fine, upstanding female citizens.  You’ll likely first notice that they’re each wearing G-strings – typical stripper attire.  They are, in fact, strippers.  Exotic dancers, if you prefer.  The second thing that you’ll notice is that each girl’s G-string is stuffed full of the good old fashioned $1 bills.  You know, the paper stuff.  Greenbacks.  They are very easy to stuff in a G-string, and many can fit without any trouble.

presidentail-dollar-coin-obverse 

Dollar coins don’t fit in G-strings!

Imagine, for a moment, trying to give your friendly, hard working stripper a dollar coin.  You can’t very well stuff it under the strap of her underwear – it would just fall out!  Tip jars are just tacky, and you can’t very well throw them at her.  That’s a sure way to get kicked out, and probably get kicked by the stripper in question.  Not a good scenario for anyone involved.

Stripper Lobbyists

My conclusion is that there are very powerful stripper lobbyists in Washington.  Through their superior negotiating tactics, they are able to convince the government that printing $1 bills still makes sense, for at least some of our citizens.  Until inflation forces the average gentleman’s club visitor to start using $5’s instead of $1’s, the dollar bill is here to stay.